Something I Found and Wish to Remember

The blog post below was taken from a blog called UnTangled. It moved me deeply and I wish to hold on to it, because it summed up my thoughts on the subject so well. One day, I wish to show this letter to my daughter (and son, if we'll have one), in the hopes that it will be one of her main guiding lights in life.

So without further ado, I present to you:

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl

(About Her Future Husband)

April 17, 2013

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you. 

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting: 

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You. 

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you. 

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

15 months...

Daddy's feet are a bit bigger than mine...

It has been 15 months since our little girl was born, and boy, has she changed!

Height: still 76 cm

Weight: 9.4 kg

Clothing size: still 80cm

Shoes size: still 11.5cm (or 3 in the US)

Diaper size: medium

Teeth: still the same 6 from last time

Eyes: While they have not changed from their beautiful greenish brown, we have noticed that her eyes tend to be more green when she's upset or sick.

Food: She finally likes milk!!! I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me. Not just that, but she also drinks her milk from a regular cup.

Nursing: We have become much better at nursing only three times at night. Though there are some slip ups here and there (mostly when I'm too tired), but I think we're doing pretty well overall.

Sleeping: 9 times out of 10 Rini sleeps 4-5 hours straight from the time she goes to bed, and I have even noticed her waking up only almost at 2 A.M. a few times. Luckily the weather has been mild, so no A/C has been necessary yet.
She has also returned to her normal 7:30-8 P.M. bedtime, making me think it was just a form of jetlag for her not wanting to sleep until 9 P.M. Needless to say, because of all these alterations in her bed time routine, or more so, trying to get back into our previous bedtime routine, we didn't bother with the crib at all.

Milestones: WOW! What a month this has been! On Saturday, May 25th, she learned how to slide down on a slide. True, it's a tiny baby slide, but she got the technical parts down of one leg forward, then next, then hold the side, and slide. (^_^)v

This is not a slide I'd let her do alone, yet... but it was cool!

On Monday, May 28th, Rini was comfortably walking around with holding only one of our hands, as well as talking 1-2 steps on her own. She went from not daring to take a step unless we held both her hands to this in just 2-3 days. By May 31st, she managed to take 4-5 steps at a time without falling. By June 2nd, she was walking on her own pretty well, though she still had the little waddle in her step, with her little hands to the side for balance. On June 4th, she comfortably walked up and down on the stairs in our building by holding onto the side rails only. By the time she turned 15 months old, she needed no assistance in walking or managing the stairs, and would only lose her balance, if the road was really uneven and her foot got caught on something.
It is great seeing the progress she is making in a matter of only a couple weeks really. It has also made our lives much easier that we can rely on her to follow us without assistance. I know that my back for one is definitely happy.

Kitty!!!... Didn't I see you not long ago?

Words: Nothing new really.

Favorite toys: Once again, nothing new.

Likes: Her likes haven't changed much, except with regards to milk.

Dislikes: Her dislikes haven't changed much either.

Mommy/baby update: I've been trying my best to spend more time with Rini, and it has helped us connect better. My aim is to spend one day during the weekend being just the two of us, bonding. Hopefully, we can keep it up for years to come.

And that is all. (^_^)v

More Musings of the Future

I actually went off on a tangent yesterday, which is fine and good, but I didn't get my main question answered, and that is "What's next... as a job?"

Being conversational in Japanese would have been a great and valuable skill in Hungary, but I don't think that will be true in NYC. At this point, I can honestly say that I'm not going to be proficient enough in Japanese by the time we would leave to give me any real benefits in the job front in NYC. As long as I solidly pass N3 on the JLPT, I'll be very happy. This is not me being humble, but it's reality. I once again fell off the wagon a couple months back, being busy with preparing for our NYC trip and other work related tasks, and at this point, I probably won't get back to serious studying until I take the test in July. 

So the question remains, if we are to move back to NYC within 6 months of leaving Japan, what will I do with my life there? Here are the few options I have thought of so far:

• I would stay home with our children, if we can afford it.
  By the end of 2014, Rini will be almost 3 years old and hopefully we'll have a new little addition to our family, too. With a baby and a toddler, it would be best for one of us to stay home, and I'd like that to be me. Not for a long time, but maybe until baby #2 turns 3 years old. The potential problems I see with this are A, can we afford it, and B, will I be suited to stay at home. The first question will be easily answered once we know where my husband will work, and where we will live. It's just a simple question of budgeting.
  The second question worries me a bit more, because I don't have a great track record of self-motivation. While I'd like to think I have changed a fair amount during my time in Japan, becoming more mature and responsible, I don't know if I can say with 100% certainty that I will stay on top of things, once the demands of my job that currently pays the bills doesn't loom over my head. I'd like to believe I could hold down and run a household, and make sure our children are well cared for. I'm hoping that, if for nothing else, resting up in Hungary will serve as a way to transition into the stay-at-home mom mentality, and I will be asking my relatives to help me in this. I still have a lot to learn about running a household efficiently, and planning meals so that we don't waste money or food is a pretty daunting task to me. 
• I would try to get accepted into the Teaching Fellows program.
  From their website: "The NYC Teaching Fellows program recruits and prepares high-quality, dedicated individuals to become teachers who raise student achievement in the New York City classrooms that need them most." This basically means that people who did not receive their BA/BS in Education can still get into teaching, as long as they're willing to work in high-poverty communities and/or with special needs students. While teaching, Fellows also complete their master's degree. While I think I'd rather teach elementary school, currently there are waaaaay too many elementary school teachers and not enough positions available, so if I want to continue teaching, this would be my only way in.
  This program is great, because I could receive a degree while I work, so I wouldn't "waste" time doing the school-first, job-after approach. They are even looking for ESL teachers.
  The downside is that choosing this option would need a full-time commitment, which means I'd automatically opt out of staying home with the children. Just their summer pre-service training is a 6-week long, Monday through Friday, 10-hour-a-day training program.
  Of course, with such commitment, I better be damn sure I want to be a teacher. While I don't think I'm a bad teacher, maybe even a somewhat good one, I'm not sure I'm ready to make that type of commitment right away, mainly because of how young our children will still be. What worries me is that, if I don't take this opportunity as soon as I'm back in NYC, whatever credit or edge my JET experience would give me during the application process will become obsolete within the few years I'd spend in staying home.
• I would try to find a part-time job in whatever field I can.
  My actual dream job, and please don't laugh, is to own my very own yarn store. Knitting, crocheting, and the love of yarn has been the one consistent thing in my life besides my husband and child, since I've turned twenty. I really think I would enjoy the balance of business and creativity as well as the flexibility of owning a business would afford me. It would be a lot of work, but not something I could not handle. If I could find a part-time job in a yarn store in NYC, I think I would be one of the happiest creatures alive.
  Also, a part-time job would be great in many ways. First, it would bring in a little something on the side, that could be saved up or used as needed. Second, it would take me out of the house, but not for so long, that finding childcare would be too difficult and too expensive. Also, if I did find a part time job in a yarn store, it would give me a great opportunity to learn all there was to know about owning and running a yarn store.

So these are my options, or at least the ones I've thought of so far. All of them are very different from each other, and while it might not be impossible to do one after the other, it's probably not the smartest idea. There are so many things up in the air, so many things that are unknown to us, that it's hard to focus on any of these as a final choice.
I do think that applying to the Teaching Fellows program right after Japan is probably not a good idea, because I don't think I could commit to it fully, while our children are so young. Not to mention, while it might be pretty to have a master's degree on our wall, it's useless, unless I'm ready to dedicate at least 5-10 years to teaching. If I could be sure that waiting a few years would not result in loosing my edge, and in turn not getting accepted into the program, I think I'd be glad to become a Teaching Fellow and teach. My yarn store dream can wait, as I always thought of it as something I'd do at least 10-15 years down the line.

So, what shall I do? I guess only time will tell.

Places, Places....

As we're heading into our last year on JET, I've began thinking about the question that I think every JET thinks about at some point during their last year, and that is: "What's next?"

Originally, within the first few months of my husband moving here, I was hoping and planning for us to move to Hungary after our five years in Japan. I figured, I'd be more valuable in Hungary if I can speak both English and Japanese, and could support us for a few years (meaning at least about 5), while our future children learn the language and culture of Hungary.

Then we got pregnant, and the months just flew by. Our daughter was born, and when she was a little over 4 months old, we visited my family in Hungary. We spent 3 weeks there, so that we could get a feel for the environment we were thinking of moving to, as well as check out the job situation. During the trip, there were a few things that we realized as James and I constantly talked about our future plans.

First, that James didn't think he could handle living in another country, where he didn't speak the language. Second, my family was super supportive and loving and that it would be beneficial for our children to keep close contact with them. Third, and this happened as we were at the airport leaving, that we both really REALLY missed having family around. This in turn, raised the question whether we should just leave after our third year on JET, but after much consideration about my ability to learn Japanese and having time to save up some money, we decided that the best course of action would be to stay for the fourth year and then leave. James also suggested that no matter where we moved, it should be within two hours driving distance of some family. Finally, he told me that he understood what I meant when I said that living in Hungary would be safe for our children, and that it would be a good idea to stay there for some time.

So having settled this, we came back to Fukuyama. Another few months went by, and our discussion continued. Our new observations included James realizing that he didn't want to stay at home with two kids, but that after JET, I do want to stay home with our kids. Moreover, we thought it would be better to have baby #2 after we leave JET, so that we didn't have to deal with packing and kids at the same time. This left us with the need to change our initial plans. If I wanted to stay home and James didn't, that would mean that it would be up to James to support us while we were in Hungary. Not impossible, but maybe a bit harder than it would have been for me to get a job, as he doesn't speak much Hungarian.

However, I've also realized through further discussions that as much as he says he can deal with it, my husband would not be happy in Hungary for many reasons. So while officially our plans didn't change much, I've started thinking about Hungary as a rest spot between Fukuyama and New York. A place where we would spend no more than 6 months, which would be enough for me to spend some serious time with my family and get to know them as people, for Rini to pick up a solid foundation of Hungarian, and if we're pregnant, to have baby #2 without worrying much about insurance and cost. If while we were there James decided to look for a job, and find that job enjoyable enough that we could spend more time in Hungary, great, but if not, at least thinking this way will hopefully prevent me feeling too upset later on.

I'm glad to say looking at the future this way has helped me over time to accept the concept of returning to New York much sooner that I originally expected to. It also shifted my focus, and I began looking at what is possible and what is not possible when it comes to living in NYC. I still didn't want to live in the City (that includes all boroughs), so I began looking at towns that were no more than an hour by train from Grand Central station, but had the feel of Fukuyama and my home in Hungary. Our New York trip was coming up, too, and I was determined to see if such a place, which I had in my mind for so long, even existed. 

I did some research and decided to visit at least two places, one being White Plains, and the other, a much smaller town called Katonah, and its surrounding area. Once we were in New York, we drove out first to White Plains. Driving through the area, I felt like this was it. It had a really quiet-looking residential area with nice one-family homes, and a busy downtown, not too far away with all of our favorite stores present. The train station wasn't too far either, and I got the feeling, that if I wanted to, I could ride my bicycle to places instead of driving. 

We then continued to Katonah, which turned out to be too small, and nothing what I thought it would be from the research I did on the place. Still it was a nice road trip, and I'm glad we went there.

Once we were back in Fukuyama, I continued my research. People have been telling me this already, but it was nice to confirm, that buying a house in White Plains was a bit expensive. While I'm making sure we save a fair amount of money while we're here, I've realized that amount still won't be enough for a down payment. This means we are looking at a minimum of 3-5 years of renting and making sure our credit is exceptional, before we can buy a house, and that is fine by me. However, I also began looking for White Plains-like places to see if there are any other small cities that are a bit cheaper. This lead me to New Rochelle, just north of New York City. Houses there seem slightly cheaper, but the area still promises to be nice. For $400,000 there are some really nice 2+ bedroom/2+ bathroom homes, with a pretty big garden to boot.

This got me excited enough, that I decided to bring up in conversation last night what each of us wanted in our future home. My husband and I got talking, and this is what we came up with. 

On James's side, he'd prefer:

• a nice big kitchen, 
• at least 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, one of which is attached to the master bedroom, 
• two floors,
• and a basement, which can be used as a man cave or game room.

On my list, I have: 

• a big bathroom attached to the master bedroom, 
• 2+ bedrooms, 2+ bathrooms,
• a big garden with trees,  which is isolated from the sidewalk,
• and having a fence around our entire property.

We realized we do not care much about the size of our living room or dining room, and care more about the quantity of bedrooms, rather than the size. Size only matters when it comes to the kitchen, master bathroom, and garden. 

I'm glad that we have some sort of idea now of how we can compromise so that both of us can be happy. I need a house in a quiet and safe neighborhood, James needs to be close to his friends, family, and the city. Hopefully, we will be able to find the right home when the time is right. Until then, I'll just plan and dream, and keep doing plenty of research.

A Dear John Letter

Dear Work,

I'm sorry, but we need to talk. I really like you, but lately I feel a bit over-whelmed by you. The worst part is, I know I've probably led you on, promising you more time, volunteering for more activities, and generally enjoying our time together without a word of dissatisfaction. You would be absolutely right to say that I have given you no fair warning, but we cannot continue in this manner anymore.

You see, I have a family, which includes a loving husband and a wonderfully sweet little daughter, who have seen me on average no more than 3 hours a day on any given weekday. This of course does not include the time we spend asleep, because let's be honest, as nice as cuddling is, most of sleeping is (hopefully) spent completely unconscious, and I, for one, don't think that really constitutes as "time together." There are the weekends, yes, but even then half my time is spent by either working or fretting about the work I'm not doing for one reason or another. I also have friends, who I have not hung out with for months. Yes, months! I'm starting to doubt they'd even recognize me anymore, because I see them so little. 

So, my dear Work, we need a change of plan, a new strategy, a mutual agreement, that will make both of us happy. Here are some of the things I propose we do:

1. We say goodbye to each other at the earliest possible moment, so that I can have a nice calm walk to my transportation of choice. This will mean 4:30P.M. most times, which in turn will mean, that once 4 o'clock hits, I will start wrapping up whatever I'm doing.
2. If for some reason I must finish a task before I leave, but 4 o'clock hits, I will have to inform my family and ask permission to spend more time with you. My husband, you see, has 51% veto power from now on of me staying with you longer than necessary. If he says no, then I'm sorry, but I'll just have to see you next time.
3. I will not take you home any longer. Or rather, the only time I'll glance your way while I'm home is in the wee hours of the morning, when my family is asleep.
4. I will learn to say no to you more often. The world will not collapse, if I don't agree to every little thing you want from me. I'm sure of it.
5. As for all my little projects that I volunteered for on my own, I shall continue them, but make an utmost effort to manage my time better, so that I finish on time.

I hope these new conditions will not lessen, but rather, improve the quality of our relationship. Remember, quality over quantity!

                                                                Love,
                                                                 Kat

Off To The Zoo We Go

The view as we walked from
the parking lot to the entrance.

The Fukuyama Zoo

A few weeks ago, a friend of ours invited us to visit the Fukuyama Zoo with her and her little boy. We've never been to the zoo here before, and since Rini is not just a little lump anymore, we eagerly accepted the invitation. We decided to go last Saturday, May 18th, which turned out to be a beautiful day. Unfortunately, the morning was a little slow and cranky on Rini's part, taking her usual nap at 1:30P.M., making us leave a little later that we would have hoped for. On the good side, Rini was rested and happy after her nap, so it promised to be a nice time for all.

The next time someone asks me how big Rini is,
I can tell them she's as big as a King Penguin.

We got to the zoo a little before 3PM. Tickets were really reasonable, around 500 yen for an adult if I remember correctly, but was definitely less than a 1000 yen. The zoo opens at 9A.M., and I was surprised to see that it already closes at 4:30P.M., even on the weekends. (They're also closed on Tuesdays.) Though one doesn't really need more than 2 hours to see everything, it's worth to get there early, because by 3-3:30P.M. all the animals anxiously pace around their gates to be allowed inside and away from the people.
Well, off we went to explore. The first animals we came across were the penguins. I've never heard a penguin cry before and it's quite interesting. Rini was fascinated by them, and would we have had more time, I would have gladly stood around for more than the 5-10 minutes we did, so she can fully enjoy herself. Also, if you come at the right time, you can stand in line and feed them some fish. That's something I'd like to do next summer for sure.

Soon we kept on walking, and came upon a zebra, couple giraffes, and an elephant on the opposite side. The animals being on the other side than where we were standing, and because of my anxiousness of seeing the big kitties, we decided to take pictures and linger on our way out.

Next came the cat house. There were cheetahs, panthers, lions, and tigers, and some smaller cats, too. They were all very impressive and majestic, and I had the uncontrollable urge to pet each of them. I guess, we can say it was quite lucky that there was a glass wall between us then.

Let's pet the kitty, mommy, please?

OK, maybe not...

After seeing all the big cats, we went on to seeing some reptiles. Since their glass windows were quite high up, it was a bit hard to manage with a stroller, so we didn't stay too long. Then came the monkeys, which there were quite a few, including one of my all time favorite ones:

Finally, we saw some bunnies, and birds, and farm animals, too. On our way out, I took some pictures of Rini riding an elephant.

OK, so it wasn't a real one, but still...

For a second I would have loved to sit her on the trunk.

As you can see, the Fukuyama Zoo is quite small, housing only maybe two of each of the bigger animals. They have penguins, giraffes, zebras, elephants, an ostrich, a nice variety of big cats, a whole bunch of monkeys, flamingos, birds, a few reptiles, and some farm animals. There were no bears, but we didn't really miss them. 

Overall, it was a very nice and fun day, and I hope we can come visit again soon!

Bye bye Fukuyama Zoo! See you again soon!

As Time Flies By

Once again, I've been too busy or not inspired enough to write for over a months now I think. I have started posts but they aren't quite ready to come to fruition, so I'll just do a quick update on Rini's progress in the past couple months.

I'm eating Hungarian mákosbejgli, and it's goood!

Height: 76 cm

Weight: 9.2 kg

Clothing size: 80cm

Shoes size: 11.5cm (or 3 in the US as we recently found out)

Diaper size: medium

Teeth: still the same 6 from last time

Eyes: They also have not changed from their beautiful greenish brown.

Food: One of her main foods is definitely rice. Since she doesn't like mushy food anymore, but can't quite manage most foods without the hazard of choking looming over the meal, we have been giving her rice to help with texture. It's working out real well. Also, unfortunately strawberry season is over, so we're trying to find new seasonal fruits to give to her. Watermelon has been a great hit, we just take out any seeds beforehand, and make sure she doesn't wear her nicest outfit.
The one thing that has been becoming increasingly difficult to deal with is her tendency to ask for a bite from our (or when I'm around, specifically from my) food. Now this would generally not be a problem, except there have been a few times when I've been eating something she really shouldn't have, so when I tell her no, it causes tension and problems. Well, OK, to tell the truth, it's mainly my almost complete lack of ability to keep to my "No" is what's causing the problem. I'm working on it, but it's true that my parenting style is more lax than I originally thought it'll be, probably due to my desire to keep her happy during the short time we share together. This is a really dangerous territory of spoiling that I wish to avoid and it definitely needs work.

Bottle/Milk: After some tough nights, it seems like we were able to coax her to not expect milk anymore from the feeding when she goes to bed until midnight, and be content with her dad helping her get back to sleep if necessary. I feel like that because of this, she has been waking up less and less between 8P.M. and midnight, with usually first waking up between 1 and 2 A.M. However, once she wakes up, I feel like she comes to me almost more often than before, every hour-ish to be exact, until about 4-4:30A.M., when I'm getting out of bed soon after anyways. I think our next step will be trying to rule out those feedings between midnight and 4A.M., to have a final schedule of feeding at bedtime, midnight, and 4A.M. Another interesting thing I've been seeing is that at bedtime she seems to want milk from both breasts, which is somewhat a first for us.

Sleeping: Lately it's been harder to get her to sleep before 8P.M. Our routine hasn't changed, and she's still eagerly awaits her bedtime feeding at her usual time, however she doesn't seem to fall asleep anymore during these feedings. Instead, after she had her fill (usually 10 minutes or so), she gets up and starts crawling and bouncing all over the place. Then she comes back for a little more, then bounces all over the place again... and repeat. This has been making bedtime for me really difficult, because if I try to leave to let her play herself out on her own, the crying begins. On the other hand, if I stay, it's impossible for me not to fall asleep, losing out on some precious hours that I could spend with my husband or work when I must. If my husband tries to help out and take my place, that's still not good enough for her. I understand her, because the time we spend together during the week is mighty short, but it's been making our previous battle of keeping her asleep until midnight almost useless, if I'm right there next to her sleeping. I've been thinking about maybe letting her stay up just a tad longer, but I'm afraid of starting on a downward spiral of ever later bedtimes.
On the up side, I feel like she has stopped traveling around the world, or at least her and our futon, and has been sleeping more in the same spot than ever before since she's been mobile. Although I'd love that same spot to be on her own futon, I'll content myself for now with her current position of right in-between the two futons. She also has been much better at detaching herself after a few minutes of nighttime feedings, though if she catches me in a bad position, I still cut things short.
Finally, we've been toying with the idea of moving her from the family bed to her crib. If we could get her comfortable with it, I feel like she could play there safely whenever she's not ready to sleep yet, and could even help us with establishing some self-soothing techniques and possibly sleeping through the night more. Though to be honest, that's not a battle I'm looking forward to, so we might dilly-dally a bit longer, and see if things improve when she doesn't want to feed quite so much anymore.

Milestones: Her biggest achievement, at least in my eyes, is her finally able to give us kisses and hugs. Her first ever kiss happened while we were waiting for our flight at Hiroshima Airport during our NYC trip, and it was completely unexpected. It's the cutest little thing, and warms my heart beyond words every time she does it. Sometimes she kisses me when I ask her to, other times it's completely out of the blue, sometimes she'll only give maybe the one no matter how I beg, sometimes she gives me more I can count... or at least it feels like as such. She also gives the deepest of hugs, putting her little arms around my neck, snuggling her head on my shoulder, and I can actually feel her strength of pulling me in close to her and holding me there. It's such a different feeling from when she's holding on to me for support, but I can't really describe it.
Lately she's been vigorously practicing standing up on her own by pushing with her hands on the ground, instead of pulling herself up as she holds onto the table or wall, which is a pretty "old" skill by now. Most times she succeeds and stands for 10 seconds or more, before plopping down on her behind again. Although she has been able to stand at least this long for quite some time now, she only used to manage it when her attention was on anything but herself standing. This consciousness is what makes this a new and exciting milestone for me.
She is also much more comfortable at cruising around the house, and my husband tells me she's been trying to take her first step without any help. She has not succeeded in that yet, to my knowledge, but I feel like it will happen any moment now.
TMI alert: As a side note, I'd like to congratulate my daughter for going 1 year, 2 months, and 5 days without pooping into her bath water. That was a learning experience for all parties involved, and a prime example of jinxing oneself, as my husband and I just had a conversation maybe a day before about how we're looking forward to summer and swimming, and me arguing the non-necessity of swimming diapers, since she has never pooped in the water before. Yeah...
Update 1: As of Saturday, May 25th, she learned how to slide down on a slide. True, it's a tiny baby slide, but she got the technical parts down of one leg forward, then next, then hold the side, and slide. (^_^)v
Update 2: As of Monday, May 28th, Rini comfortably walks around with holding only one of our hands. She went from not daring to take a step unless we held both her hands to this in a matter of 2-3 days. Can't wait to see what comes next!

Watermelon hat... It's the new style, don't you know?

Words: There have been no new words in the past couple months, however, she has become much more expressive overall. Her babbling seems more purposeful lately with more intonations and varied syllables, making it sound like she's using complete sentences in a language we don't speak. She's also learned to shake her head for "no," and in the past week or so, we have seen a nod or two as well, as an answer to our questions.
For example, just last week, when I was trying to decide what clothes she should wear for our trip to the zoo, I decided to ask her about it. I showed her an outfit and asked her (in Hungarian), if she would like to wear it. She shook her head. Then I brought out another one in similar colors (it was light blue vs the dark blue from previously), and again she shook her head no. So I pick out this cute little orange dress with flowers for the third choice, and she looked for a second, then nodded. And there it was, she made her choice. Whether this was a coincidence or not, I don't know, but she did not fight me when I put that outfit on her, like the way she usually does.
There was also another communication highlight around the same time, where I gave her a banana halfway in its peel as a snack, then went back to doing something in the kitchen out of sight. After a few minutes I came back to the living room for one reason or another, and couldn't see the banana peel anywhere. I asked her where it was, and she grabbed it from behind the laptop and showed it to me. Needless to say, I was gushing about this for a long time. (And I guess I still am.)
There are two other communication skills that she's been using for some time now, but I don't think I've mentioned them before. The first is that she has pointing down to the T, and the second is the "AAAH" sound she makes whenever she wants to eat, or just have a bite from my food. She also often uses this sound lately when she wants to be fed in the middle of the night.

Favorite toys: While we were in New York, my mother-in-law took me and Rini on a shopping trip. One of the things she got for Rini from my suggestion was this little seahorse, which emits a soft glow and plays gentle lullabies mixed with ocean sounds for about 5 minutes at a time, when its tummy is pushed. I originally saw this seahorse years ago at a friend's house, while I was watching their son, and have decided to get one whenever the need arose. Unfortunately, while it's possible to buy this seahorse in Japan, it costs at least three times its price in the US, so I decided to wait. Anyways, here we were in the store, and they had the blue little seahorse, which turned out to be one of the best gifts Rini has ever gotten. It makes putting her down for the night much easier now, and lately she has hugged it a few times like it was something she was quite fond of. If this seahorse ends up being her lovey, all the better. I also love that there are two volume options, making the lower setting the gentlest little thing as she drifts off to sleep at night, while the higher one is great for nap times when it needs to counter all the noise of daytime.
Another favorite of hers is the walker that she also got from grandma. It makes a gazillion sounds and she likes to push it around, too, though there's not much space to do so in our teeny-tiny apartment. The only thing I don't much like about this particular toy is how it cuts itself off mid-song which it started up on its own, too, without any sort of input from us. Also there seems to be little to no difference in some of the buttons when we switch between the two modes of play. I feel like this was not the case while she played with it back in New York, so maybe it's not a design flaw, but instead something happened to it during our trip back here.
The final toys that she seems super fond of are a big round Spider-man plushy and the Oregon Duck Pillow Pet, both of which we got from friends. When it comes to the Spider-ball, my husband tends to very lightly throw it at her, which makes her giggle and then she tries to climb on it and wrestle with it. As for the Oregon Duck, I just have to say the Hungarian word for duck ("kacsa") in a funny voice as I hold it and she giggles and giggles. (I should note, this does not work with any other duck figure.)

Likes: She loves to make the sound of "bah" at random times to make us laugh. It's really quite hard to explain, and we should, and indeed must take a video of it soon for the future, because it's quite adorable. She also loves buttons, especially on the laptop. (Thank goodness for the child-lock for the keyboard!)

Dislikes: Her dislikes haven't changed much in the past couple of months.

Playing in the library. YAAAY, horsey!!!

Mommy/baby update: I've been putting in much greater effort in spending more time with Rini. I try my best to get home as soon as possible, and then once home, focus only on her. I've also been trying to have mommy/baby alone time for at least 3-5 hours during the weekend, where we go somewhere and play. Up until recently, these places have been the park near by and the shopping mall (Ito Yokado) with its child play area, and once we also went to the zoo. Luckily, I was able to add another place to the list just last week. On the fourth floor of our library there's a kids play area, which is waaaay cleaner, more varied and fun, and overall better than the one in the mall. The age of the children is also much closer to Rini's, which is another bonus. The whole area is carpeted, and there is a little play structure, complete with carpeted steps and two baby-sized slides. I think from now on, I'll try to take her there whenever it's too hot to stay outside under the sun.

Mommy only update (TMI alert): The only thing that has been foremost on my mind lately is my period. It changed dramatically from before I was pregnant, many ways which I have not anticipated at all. My cramps are still quite as annoying as before, but they last significantly longer, going from a single day or maybe two to 4-6 days of almost constant annoyance. My period also became a couple days longer, from 5-7 days to 7-9 days when all things are said and done. It's now also much much heavier, so much so that I was forced to buy the biggest tampons Tampax offers (level 5-out-of-5) and still needing to change them in less than 3 hours. Just to give a bit of perspective, the heaviest Tampax I needed pre-pregnancy was a 3-out-of-5, and it lasted for 4 hours easy even on my heaviest days. I guess I'll just have to see if this is just my body trying to adjust back into this whole mess of ovulation and what comes with it, or if it'll be a permanent feature from now on.

And that is all. (^_^)v

A Time of First Meetings

So after about 20 hours of traveling, we have finally arrived to New York City! The journey itself went pretty well all things considered. I think we were really lucky, that the longer of the two flights (Narita-->JFK) was pretty empty, so we got the whole first row in the middle to ourselves as well, not just our seats on the side. Unfortunately, since it was the first row, the TV and food tray were built into the armrest, leaving us only two seats to "stretch out" on. But hey, that's still two seats longer than we would have had, if the plane was full, so I'm OK with it.

There was a little rushing in Narita, because our flight was a little late (10 minutes or so), then as we tried to get through immigration, we forgot to fill out the embarkation cards (again) mainly because there were huge signs of "MILITARY, TAKE ONE" right next to them. As we are not military, we didn't take any, and had to go back and fill them out. To my defense, I'm used to dealing with immigration into the US, where, if you're not a citizen, you fill things out as you come in, and keep the paperwork in your passport until you leave. Japan is the opposite. Then, when we were almost at our gate, James realized that we left his backpack behind at a pre-immigration check point. So off he dashed to retrieve it, and I went ahead to our gate, finding that pre-boarding for families just started. I boarded the plane with Rini, frantically telling to whichever ANA employee that would listen what happened, hoping to help James out from afar, knowing the possible problems he'd face at the immigration check point. They called to the check point to notify them of his return, but it seemed it wasn't really necessary, as James joined me in the aircraft within ten minutes.

Rini didn't seem to have any problems with the pressure change of taking off and landing. She also enjoyed the flight as much as it was possible in the circumstances. Outside her naps, she slept a good 3+2 hours or so, and in the bassinet to boot, so I think both James and I got a little rest.

I also had a chance to finish two movies, Billy Elliot and Hitchcock, both of which I liked very much. They had The Hobbit, too,but I dared not start such a long movie, in case I couldn't finish it.

The food was good, and I was really pleased with the Baby Meal ANA offered. I forgot to take a picture, but it had some hot watery rice (please excuse my bad memory of the proper term) with some steamed/cooked vegetables, as well as regular baby food in a jar, yoghurt, senbei, 100% vegetable juice, and water. I've also prepared some apples, strawberries, a banana, raspberry pancakes, and cheese at home for the flight, so we were pretty well set.

We landed in JFK a little late due to such a heavy fog, that the captain decided to abort landing twice. I could barely see the landing strip once we did touch down, so I wasn't surprised at all at the multiple attempts.

We got through immigration smoothly and our luggage came pretty fast as well. To our surprise, James's mom was waiting for us at the gate, and it was a very happy reunion. Rini was shy only for a little bit, and warmed up by the time we arrived to the apartment. Then we just relaxed, and let Rini explore her new environment and get friendly with Grandma and Grandpa.

Here are some pictures I took from last night:

Grandma feeding Rini her dinner: fried rice! YUMM!!!

Playing with Grandma after shower.

First hugs from Grandpa. It took a little time to warm up, since Grandma already had a couple months of Skype on her side.

The night passed by alright: Rini stayed up until about 10 PM, slept until 1AM, stayed up again until 3AM, and has been sleeping with only minor interruptions of feeding since then. Well, I'm off to create several events on Facebook and contact our friends to set up meetings. Updates on our trip here will come whenever I get a quiet morning to myself.

A Visit To Bunny Island

Yesterday we went to Okunoshima, more commonly known as Bunny Island (being named because of the abundance of fluffy little bunnies) with some friends.
The way you get there from Fukuyama is you take the Sanyo-sen to Mihara (that's where we were meeting up with our friends), then transfer to the Kure-sen to Tadanoumi, then take a ferry to the island. It was a bit of a hassle to get to, because our train out from Fukuyama station was 15 minutes late. It's quite shocking, I know.
Now, generally this would not be a problem, however, the Kure-sen from Mihara runs really, and I mean really, infrequently. The train leaves from Mihara to Kure between 9AM and 2PM at 9:29, 11:15, 12:52, and 13:25. Yes, that infrequently. The train we were taking from Fukuyama was stupposed to arrive to Mihara station at 11:09, but it was late, so we missed our train out to the ferry. Since we already came this far, and we wanted to be back in Fukuyama by 4:30PM to meet some friends for a last-minute hanami, we decided to try and catch the 12:30 ferry we were supposed to catch by taking a taxi to the port. It cost us ￥4000, but we got to the ferry on time, and met up with our friends after all. The ferry tickets for round-trip cost ￥600/person.

She's coming for you, bunnies!

The welcome sign of the island.

We had some lunch as soon as we got off the ferry, as both Rini and our friend's baby were quite hungry by now, not to mention us, adults. Already we saw at least ten bunnies around us, and while I set up our lunch, James tried to acquaint Rini with them with some success. After our lunch, we walked to the abandoned factory near by. While the island is now famous for being overrun by bunnies, during the war poison gas factories operated here, testing the effects of the chemicals on rabbits. After the war, the rabbits were let loose, and lived here ever since. Of course, the bunnies seen today are many many generations down the line from the test bunnies, and having no natural predators, there are literally hundreds of them if not more.

It is a huge building.

The view from the stairs...

After taking a few pictures of the factory, we tried to befriend a few bunnies outside. Though supposedly you can buy rabbit food for a ￥100/cup at the hotel lobby on the island, we brought our own food (cabbage and carrots), since our friend, who has been on the island many times before, said the bunnies prefer it. Though the bunnies are really friendly and will come close for food, they generally don't let themselves being pet.

The only place Rini could sit without sitting in bunny poop was the road, but few people were around, so it was fine.

Well, hello there bunny! (^_^)

The clear, clear sea.

Next, we started walking towards the museum. As we walked along the coast, it surprised me just how clear and beautiful the sea surrounding the island was. Right there I made up my mind to come back in the summer and enjoy the tiny beach that's available for swimmers. The only problem is, there probably won't be too many bunnies around then, as they get really lazy in the heat and prefer to stay in the shade. For this reason, it is said that the best time to visit the island is in April and May, with the added bonus of seeing baby bunnies around this time, too.

Taking a rare family photo along the coast.

Near the museum, there are some big bunny ears that try to simulate how bunnies can hear. I personally could not hear anything special, but James said it was interesting.

We didn't go into the museum, because our time was nearly up, so instead we hung out near by and fed the rest of our cabbage to some more bunnies.

We visited the small gift shop which had lots of plush bunnies, bunny key-chains and phone charms, the obligatory senbei (Japanese crackers), and other bunny related things. Finally, it was time to go, and just before we got on the small ferry back, I snapped a picture of the ferry schedule for future reference. The first big column is for the ferry coming to the island, in the order of Tadanoumi, Bunny Island, and one more stop, and the second one is for going back, stops being in reversed order. The times in grey are for the ferry that can transport cars.

We missed the ferry we were planning on taking back, missing our train in the process, but luckily we met some friends on the island, who owned a car, and we got a ride home to Fukuyama. So in the end we were able to join our friends for hanami with being late to the festivities only a little bit. We even acquired a balloon on our way to Castle Park.

Overall, it was a nice and relaxing day, with good friends and adorable bunnies, and we hop to visit the island again soon.

Between A Rock And A Hard Place...

The closer the day of our trip to New York gets, the less enthusiastic I am about it. I'm not talking about the people, because I can't wait to see all of our family and friends, but about the impending ~20 hour journey with a 1-year-old, the jet lag, and the rushing around, trying to get everything done madness. I really wish we could stay longer, but I'm down to less than two days of vacation until August, which I need to hold on to desperately, in case Rini or James gets sick enough that I would need to stay home from work. 

I have been working like a crazy person, and thank goodness I like my job, otherwise I might have gone nuts by now, but too much of a good thing is still too much, and I really REALLY would like an actual vacation. Being lazy in a new place, taking strolls with my sweetie, talking about everything and nothing, and watching Rini play... that's what I would like. If only I had a time turner and a teleportation device...

However, amidst all my whining, I am really looking forward to seeing a lot of people! I know we're not arriving at a really convenient time and that all the people we wish to see have jobs and things to do, which, as convenient as it would be, won't go away just because the T. family is coming back to New York City. So I'm trying my best to plan, to accommodate as many people as I can, as much as I can, because that's just who I am: I need to plan and organize, otherwise I fret and worry, and time flies by, and I'll feel like I could have done better and/or wasted less time, if I just planed a little more and better. 

Which is why (RANT ALERT) I can't help, but feel guilty about feeling relieved, when someone, who I planned to visit on a daily basis, decides she doesn't want to see us... at all. All because I can't give in to a ridiculous demand the way she wants me to. I tried to compromise, but when she wants something that my husband is specifically against (and with sound reason), I can only go so far, and if it's between meeting her demand versus siding with my husband, I'll choose my husband 100% of the time. That's just the way things are, and I feel saddened by the fact that she can't respect this and my relationship, and would think that I would hide something from or lie to my husband just to cater to her wishes. Of course, this makes me ::insert sarcastic tone:: a bad person, who has never EVER helped her out when she needed it ::end of sarcastic tone::, and it does not matter that there were sound reasons why I would not help, like I was having my own problems, or I didn't care to carry the responsibility of her ill-thought-out actions, or that I didn't (and still don't) want to get mixed up in anything shady, just so she could make quick and easy money. I wish I didn't know anything about that part of her life, but when that's all there is to her life, it's hard to avoid. I may be family, and family has a responsibility to one another, but that bond lessened considerably, when I entered into a family of my own, and they come first... always. So when she decided that if she couldn't have everything, she would rather have nothing, I guess I'll just have to learn to live with that. I'm tired of being emotionally bullied and abused, tired of feeling like a worthless person, and I will not crawl and beg, because I never did, and never will. I try and give as much as I can, and change when I can, but if someone doesn't want my company, they only need to say so, and I'm out of there. (END OF RANT)

And with that I'll go a make a nice breakfast to my family because they'll be awake any minute. Then I'll make some picnic lunches, and get ready for a nice day on Okunoshima, or bunny island, as it's most often called, because supposedly there are so many bunnies there and they are so nice and tame and friendly. I'll try and post pictures later.