More Musings of the Future

I actually went off on a tangent yesterday, which is fine and good, but I didn't get my main question answered, and that is "What's next... as a job?"

Being conversational in Japanese would have been a great and valuable skill in Hungary, but I don't think that will be true in NYC. At this point, I can honestly say that I'm not going to be proficient enough in Japanese by the time we would leave to give me any real benefits in the job front in NYC. As long as I solidly pass N3 on the JLPT, I'll be very happy. This is not me being humble, but it's reality. I once again fell off the wagon a couple months back, being busy with preparing for our NYC trip and other work related tasks, and at this point, I probably won't get back to serious studying until I take the test in July. 

So the question remains, if we are to move back to NYC within 6 months of leaving Japan, what will I do with my life there? Here are the few options I have thought of so far:

• I would stay home with our children, if we can afford it.
  By the end of 2014, Rini will be almost 3 years old and hopefully we'll have a new little addition to our family, too. With a baby and a toddler, it would be best for one of us to stay home, and I'd like that to be me. Not for a long time, but maybe until baby #2 turns 3 years old. The potential problems I see with this are A, can we afford it, and B, will I be suited to stay at home. The first question will be easily answered once we know where my husband will work, and where we will live. It's just a simple question of budgeting.
  The second question worries me a bit more, because I don't have a great track record of self-motivation. While I'd like to think I have changed a fair amount during my time in Japan, becoming more mature and responsible, I don't know if I can say with 100% certainty that I will stay on top of things, once the demands of my job that currently pays the bills doesn't loom over my head. I'd like to believe I could hold down and run a household, and make sure our children are well cared for. I'm hoping that, if for nothing else, resting up in Hungary will serve as a way to transition into the stay-at-home mom mentality, and I will be asking my relatives to help me in this. I still have a lot to learn about running a household efficiently, and planning meals so that we don't waste money or food is a pretty daunting task to me. 
• I would try to get accepted into the Teaching Fellows program.
  From their website: "The NYC Teaching Fellows program recruits and prepares high-quality, dedicated individuals to become teachers who raise student achievement in the New York City classrooms that need them most." This basically means that people who did not receive their BA/BS in Education can still get into teaching, as long as they're willing to work in high-poverty communities and/or with special needs students. While teaching, Fellows also complete their master's degree. While I think I'd rather teach elementary school, currently there are waaaaay too many elementary school teachers and not enough positions available, so if I want to continue teaching, this would be my only way in.
  This program is great, because I could receive a degree while I work, so I wouldn't "waste" time doing the school-first, job-after approach. They are even looking for ESL teachers.
  The downside is that choosing this option would need a full-time commitment, which means I'd automatically opt out of staying home with the children. Just their summer pre-service training is a 6-week long, Monday through Friday, 10-hour-a-day training program.
  Of course, with such commitment, I better be damn sure I want to be a teacher. While I don't think I'm a bad teacher, maybe even a somewhat good one, I'm not sure I'm ready to make that type of commitment right away, mainly because of how young our children will still be. What worries me is that, if I don't take this opportunity as soon as I'm back in NYC, whatever credit or edge my JET experience would give me during the application process will become obsolete within the few years I'd spend in staying home.
• I would try to find a part-time job in whatever field I can.
  My actual dream job, and please don't laugh, is to own my very own yarn store. Knitting, crocheting, and the love of yarn has been the one consistent thing in my life besides my husband and child, since I've turned twenty. I really think I would enjoy the balance of business and creativity as well as the flexibility of owning a business would afford me. It would be a lot of work, but not something I could not handle. If I could find a part-time job in a yarn store in NYC, I think I would be one of the happiest creatures alive.
  Also, a part-time job would be great in many ways. First, it would bring in a little something on the side, that could be saved up or used as needed. Second, it would take me out of the house, but not for so long, that finding childcare would be too difficult and too expensive. Also, if I did find a part time job in a yarn store, it would give me a great opportunity to learn all there was to know about owning and running a yarn store.

So these are my options, or at least the ones I've thought of so far. All of them are very different from each other, and while it might not be impossible to do one after the other, it's probably not the smartest idea. There are so many things up in the air, so many things that are unknown to us, that it's hard to focus on any of these as a final choice.
I do think that applying to the Teaching Fellows program right after Japan is probably not a good idea, because I don't think I could commit to it fully, while our children are so young. Not to mention, while it might be pretty to have a master's degree on our wall, it's useless, unless I'm ready to dedicate at least 5-10 years to teaching. If I could be sure that waiting a few years would not result in loosing my edge, and in turn not getting accepted into the program, I think I'd be glad to become a Teaching Fellow and teach. My yarn store dream can wait, as I always thought of it as something I'd do at least 10-15 years down the line.

So, what shall I do? I guess only time will tell.