17 Months Down

I have to say, I'm really glad I started keeping monthly update blogs on Rini. It helps me remember all the little things, and I just wish I had started doing them since her birth. So without further delay, here's Rini as a 17 month old (up to August 15th).

Height: 78.5 cm

Weight: 10 kg

Clothing size: 80cm

Shoes size: 11.5cm (or 3 in the US)

Diaper size: medium

Teeth: Most of those teeth I discovered last month have come in quite nicely. The top two molars (#4s) have a full surface now, as well as her left bottom #4. She's currently working hard on the bottom right #4, and bottom left #2, which was discovered on August 10th. This brings her up to the total of 12 teeth! She's halfway there!

Food: Rini really LOVES corn on the cob. She devours a full cob on her own easily, and keeps asking for more. Another big hit are peaches, and can anyone be really surprised? The ones here are really delicious, even if a bit annoying to part with their pits. Broccoli came back recently, too, after a few months of indifference.

Nursing: We shift between 2 times a night to 3 times a night, including bedtime nursing, depending on Rini's mood, and how tired or thirsty she is. Generally after bedtime, she nurses between 1 and 3 AM, them sometimes around 5AM.

Sleeping: Lately we've been having a little problem with her napping really late, and then not falling asleep until past 9PM, sometimes almost at 10PM. My husband tries to make her nap soon after lunch, but she refuses to do so. This past month she mainly napped around 4PM for an hour, if she even napped at all. This is especially hard on me, because trying to wait her out at bedtime, after she nursed, guarantees that I fall asleep before her. This is not very helpful when I'm hoping to work a bit before going to bed. So many times have I waited patiently 30 minutes or more for her to nurse herself to sleep, just to be wide awake as soon as I move away... On days when I know I really should stay awake and she needs to be asleep before 8:30PM, I started to take her for a walk or to the play ground in the evening, right after dinner usually. This works most times in tiring her out enough for her to fall asleep fast.
However, the question of nap-time eludes me still. The main problem is that I can't tell if we're the ones at fault, not doing something right to get her to nap, or she is just leaving her nap stage behind. She has never been a great napper. Until her first birthday, we were surprised if she napped more than 20 minutes at a time, twice a day. Then it slowly started getting longer to 30 to 45 minutes, but dropping morning naps pretty quickly. She has always been the type of child who was wide awake and playing until she was not and asleep. We couldn't make her nap when she didn't want to, and when she did, she would crawl to us, and fall asleep quite fast in our arms on her own. Now that we, as parents, got used to this behavior, and she coming to us later and later in the day, I wonder if a change of attitude and tactics is necessary.

Milestones: This past month was more about fine tuning skills she already has, instead of gaining major new ones. She can now build blocks up to 13 blocks high, for example. She also holds onto us and lifts her leg to put ON pants, not just when we take it off. She's trying hard to put her own sandals on, and at least half the time manages up to the buckle part. In the last few days, I've seen her try to put on her own pants and shirt. Though she can't really manage it without help, it's the first time I've seen her wanting to try. Furthermore, when I hold her PJs out to put on, she holds her legs, then her arms out automatically.
Now, with 17 months of age comes the reason terrible twos are terrible: tantrums. Yep, our quiet and sweet little girl has entered full tantrum-mode this past month. It's been slowly building up for a couple months, but until now we were able to quickly distract her or quiet her whenever she started crying because we wouldn't give something to her. Now, many times she throws herself down the bed wailing, or hits things (sometimes even us), if she doesn't get her way. It's been hard on both my husband and me to deal with it, mainly because we're still learning how to balance that fine line of letting her deal with her emotions without bottling them up, and trying to make her understand that at the minimum, hitting is not allowed. I also have a feeling that since our parenting styles are somewhat different, we might confuse her as to what's allowed and what is not for her to do. Finally, we're trying our best to learn the possible signs of an upcoming tantrum and counteracting it in time, like has she had a snack, is she tired, does she need to go outside and work some energy off, and so on. It's so hot now in our city, that going out seems like a chore, and I just hope the weather cools down soon, so she'll have more space to explore and play.

Here's Rini after we tried several times to stop her from trying her best to crawl behind the TV. In the end, we gave in to see what happens. Beware, the video is LOUD!


Last little bits of milestones: she likes playing with our tiny broom and to sweep the floor with it. She also uses wipes to clean up around herself, and whenever we accidentally leave a child-lock open, she goes and tries to close it back up. She seems to have a great tendency for cleanliness, which I appreciate and hope we can cultivate in her.

Rini loves to help out whenever her Daddy does anything on the balcony, whether it'd be laundry or beating the futon.
 
Sorry about my reflection in the door glass. I didn't want to open the door, in case I startled her away from what she was doing.

On a final note, for a couple months now she has been bringing books to us to read to her, like Eric Carle's "Brown Bear, Brown Bear..." and "From Head to Toe." The reason why I'm mentioning this under milestones is because she has been able to do all the gestures "From Head to Toe" now for a couple weeks at least, even when we don't read the pages to her in order, or show her the pictures. I've been meaning to catch the whole thing on camera, but with no luck so far.

Words: She keeps on babbling as usual, many times imitating words, but I'm not convinced she knows how to use them regularly, yet. However, there are a few words she has been using more consistently, one of which is "így" from Hungarian. It means, "like this," and I have been using it around her quite a lot when I show her how to do things. Another expression she started using lately is "oh-ooh." She uses it whenever she drops something, or something goes wrong. It's quite cute! Finally, she's been saying "hi" regularly now, whenever she meets someone familiar, and sometimes she even waves bye, though that's still somewhat rare. Finally, she's also been saying "csüccs" a lot, which is the sound we use in Hungarian with kids when we sit down, so I guess it kind of means "plop."

Favorite toys: Books, blocks, and crayons. She loves flipping through books for pictures, and brings all kinds of books to us to read to her. She still loves playing with blocks as well, so I'm really looking forward to getting Legos for her for Christmas. She loves to explore and be outside. A week or so ago, we bought a little inflatable swimming pool to put out in our balcony, and she loves playing in the water.

Finally, just short of a month ago we've received a care package from my mother-in-law, and with it came crayons that can be used during bath time! She loves scribbling on the bathroom walls with them. Though initially we were worried that she would start scribbling on other walls as well, she's been pretty good at avoiding them, except for the one curtain in the living room, but luckily those were done with washable crayons, and caused no lasting damage. Speaking of which, she loved those bath crayons so much, and taking away my pens to draw, that we ended up getting the washable crayons for her to draw with. She still needs adult supervision, just in case, but it's been one of her favorite past times.

Likes: Besides the things I just mentioned above, there's not much new going on. Luckily, she's not a picky eater, and generally eats anything in front of her, if not everything. Fruits, like peaches, watermelon, and Asian pears, are 9.5 out of 10 are a big hit; corn, including popcorn, is 10 times out of 10. She loves feeding us as we eat, and sometimes she actually waits to see if we eat the food, before she eats some herself... almost like if she's checking to make sure we didn't put poison in it.
Oh, by the way, though this is old news, I don't remember mentioning it before, but she's getting great at blowing things that are hot before putting it into her mouth. She's done this for months now, maybe even since she's turned one, but it's quite cute to see how she went from pretending to blow, because she just didn't get the mechanics behind it, to now, when there's actually some air coming out.

Dislikes: Recently we switched Rini to a "big kid" toothbrush, and she seems to be a bit more enthusiastic about the prospect of brushing her teeth, so that's good. She's still not thrilled about being in deep water, but more about that in another post.

Mommy/baby update: I've been trying real hard lately to spend more time with Rini, partially because I really want to, and partially because I know that once school starts up again, I won't have much time to do so again. The biggest thing that I've started doing with her is to go to the nearby public bathhouse with her once a week. I'll write about the details later in another post, but it's been a lot of fun! I hope that I can keep our relationship close while we're still in Japan, because I don't want to miss a single precious moment, if I can at all help it!

Enjoying summer on the balcony. Glad we got this little pool!

The Person that I Am...

The last few days I've been feeling a bit down due to stress most likely, but it just could be that time of the year for me. These bouts of blue come and go every so often, so it's nothing special, and I'm hoping that by writing about it, it will leave sooner rather than later.

There have been a few things floating through my mind, with the most significant one being the comparison of me present and 6-8 years past. It's quite shocking just how much has changed, and trying to figure out if I "grew up" or just hit a temporary stage in my life is something that only time will tell. But don't let me run ahead of myself.

To make things clear, this is what I remember about myself from 6-8 years ago:

First and foremost, I dressed completely differently. It was relaxed and casual, where T-shirts, jeans and black took the front seat. I also played video games a lot (sometimes through the night), read manga all the time, went to geeky conventions, played tabletop RPGs with friends, knit, and was just generally up to date on what was happening in the geek world.

This is how I see myself today:

I have a work-self and a mommy-self, two personalities that my wardrobe makes painfully obvious. I also have a bunch of T-shirts, some a bit geeky, some music related, and some just cute, which I almost never wear anymore. I never play video games or read manga anymore, don't play RPGs, forget conventions, and live quite in the past when it comes to anything geeky, due to lack of time I guess. I can barely hold up my end of the conversation in anything that doesn't relate to my work or being a mom. I still knit, when weather permits, and I've been "reading" a lot more novels through Audible.

Now, before I go any further I have to say that I like my job and becoming a mother is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I guess, what I'm trying to say is, I just miss my old self, and I keep wondering, can I still call myself a geek, like I used to, even though I don't do anything anymore that could warrant the label? I can't tell if this is just something that happens to every working parent, or it's mainly me, though in all honesty, I feel it's mainly me. I also don't know if this is temporary until our child(ren) become older, or it's more or less permanent. Maybe I should just accept that from now until the foreseeable future I'll be this two-dimensional person with nothing but work and children on her mind. I can imagine people telling me to just change what I don't like, but I just don't have the time or the energy. The fact that I have to choose between sleep and having some me-time in the morning is simply mind boggling to me. 

Could I read manga during my commute to work? Maybe, and only when I walk or take the train, but it would cut back on what precious time I have for knitting.

Could I play more video games if I really tried? Only when my daughter was asleep, which in turn means sacrificing my own sleep as well.

Could I go back to reading webcomics? I don't have that kind of screen time, either. 

Could I dress differently? That I'm not sure I really want to. Rather I'd like to dress more feminine, without my clothes screaming "work" or "mother."

Could I play boardgames or RPGs with friends? Only if someone watches Rini.

Could I ask someone to watch Rini? It'd have to be someone from the group who I would want to hang out with.

***

I looked at myself in the mirror last night after going out for an hour, and I saw a tired and old-looking girl in there. No, not a woman, just a girl. The makeup, the accessories, the clothes... none of it helps. There is something very wrong with my self-image, something I don't even know how to begin to fix. Sure, it may be temporary, but honestly? This is nothing new. I don't feel like an adult, I don't feel like a woman, I don't feel like a geek, and I barely feel like a mother. Who was I? Who am I now?

I feel like I'm waiting for this miraculous change, where I'll know I'm an adult woman. It's like I'm this character in a video game who just keeps gaining experience points, but is perpetually stuck on Level 15... out of 100.

Who am I really? Beyond my work and being a mother, I feel like I have nothing. I feel like I've lost something, or I'm missing something that I should have had by now. An identity, my identity. The identity that should be there at least when work is over and Rini is asleep. But I have nothing. I go through the motions, like a robot, and while I enjoy many aspects, when it's done, there's nothing but emptiness...

This one is for Audible...

Honestly, my mind is a bit of a mess. There are many things I'd like to write about, but none of them are quite clear yet, so I decided to go with an easy one. I'd like to talk about how Audible changed my life for the better. It sounds silly, I know, but it's true.

I've been interested in signing up for Audible for a few years now, but felt it was too expensive to do so. Then last year, after the years of competition between my reading time and my knitting time have gotten too tiresome, and the pile of books I wanted to read have gotten sky high, I've decided that I would take just one more look. My birthday has just passed (without any presents), so I thought to myself that if I found at least a handful of books from my list, I would sign up. 

So I did, and it was one of my better decisions of late. It is really convenient and the narrators are generally great. Not to mention, the price thing has worked out well, too. To date I've spent 20 out of my yearly 24 credits, downloaded 97 books (not including my free daily NY Times subscription, and theatrical performances), and listened to 27. While 27 might seem quite small compared to 97, quite a few of the books that I've bought were books I've read or listened to prior to signing up for Audible, which I wanted to have because there's a high chance of me wanting to listen to them again in the future. Also, 27 books is more than 2 books a month on average. Before Audible, I was lucky to finish a single book in a couple of months, so I went from 3-6 books a year to 27 books. That extra 20 is why I love Audible so much.

True I could download a lot of the books for free from a torrent site, but when I divide up the $230 I've paid for my 24 credits with the 100 or so audiobooks I've got this past year, I've paid less for these books than most people pay for their morning coffee, or what I pay for my morning commute. And have I mentioned the quality and customer support? Another great thing about Audible is that while they provide listening samples of each book to help with the decision of purchasing something, if for some reason I'm not satisfied after I have bought a book, I can return it and get my money/credit back, no questions asked!

Anyways, this is my small love affair with Audible.

Let's Go to Kaiyukan!

Two weekends ago, there was a three-day weekend here, July 13th to 15th. Originally we planned to go and do some hiking at Sandankyo, but the weather forecast threatened rain and thunderstorms, and I hesitated too long to acquire lodgings. Since Rini enjoyed the Fukuyama Zoo so much, we decided instead to do only a day-trip and visit the aquarium at Osaka, called Kaiyukan.

To get to the aquarium from Fukuyama, we had to take the shinkansen for an hour to Shin-Osaka, then regular train and subway to Osakako for another half hour. Including waiting and transfer, it took two hours to get there. The aquarium was a comfortable 5 minute walk from Osakako station. If I remember correctly, it cost us roughly 7,000yen per person one way, making it a bit expensive, but that's nothing new in Japan.

Kaiyukan is open generally every day from 10 A.M to 8 P.M. We wanted to get there early, so we took the 8:30 A.M. train from our local stop, Bingo-Honjo station, which got us to Osakako by 10:30 A.M. There are earlier trains available, but Rini doesn't generally wake up until 7:30-8 o'clock, and we didn't want to wake her up earlier, in case she would be tired and cranky.

I'm a bit sad we missed out on it...

When we got to the aquarium, there was a really long line to the ticket machines. A friend of ours warned us that it would be crowded, especially because of the long weekend, but I guess I didn't expect it to be crowded quite as much this early. Luckily the line moved in a good pace, but after 10 minutes or so, Rini and I went to find some shade as the sun was really strong, and left James to get our tickets. Good thing that we did, too, because as soon as I got Rini in the shade, she passed right out for her nap. This worked out quite well, because we waited another 20 minutes for James to get our tickets, which were 2,300yen for adults, and free for children under 3. We could have bought tickets that included the huge Ferris wheel near-by for another 300-400yen per person, however we were a bit low on funds, and decided against it.

Anyways, with tickets in hand, off we went inside the cool aquarium. Rini kept sleeping for another ten minutes or so, which was just fine, as there were a lot of people and we moved slowly with our stroller. Once inside, we saw many awesome things, like:

Otters!!! I never quite realized how BIG they were.

Penguins... Rini woke up just before we reached them.

A REALLY BIG fish.

Pretty underwater life...

It's hard to see, but the tiny blue fish were beautiful.

Rini really liked these blue fish. She sat here the longest.

Looking at the pretty fish with daddy.

My favorites were the dolphins. Closest I've been to one.

Rini wasn't quite sure about the bigger animals...

As long as they were far, it was fine, but when they came close, she wanted to leave.

As we headed deeper, we saw the penguins again, this time, swimming.

I think one of James's favorites was this huge turtle.

One of Ursula's minions also made an appearance.

These king crabs were awesome, but Rini was not going to have any of it.
She wouldn't even stay for a photo.

These guys were swimming above us. Quite cute, I think.

Just to up the level of cuteness, we picked up Rini for a photo.
Of course, after us, everyone was trying to take the same picture of their child.

James's favorite was this GIGANTIC jelly fish.
It was twice as big as a human head!

More pretty jelly fish. I learned that the longer their tails are (between species),
the more likely they will hurt to touch.

We got to look at a few penguins up close at the end.

Rini pointing out the penguin we just saw.

It's a bit big... and to think we only caught half its horn on camera.

Size of humans (bottom left) versus different sharks.

After seeing this, I've decided I'd rather not be eaten by a shark.

A family photo at the end of the day.

And this is all. The whole thing took about 3 hours from start to finish, although I'm sure it would have taken longer would we have gotten one of those English digital guides. We also saw many people using their Nintendo DS at various points throughout the aquarium. It seemed like another way to get more information about the animals we saw, and to engage children more as well. Just before leaving we took a few more photos, and visited the gift shop. There were a few interesting things, but it was mainly plushies of all sizes of the various tenants of the aquarium. Once again, Rini only seemed interested in the tags of the various gifts, not really the gifts themselves, except for the penguins, so we got a tiny one that had a magnet sewn into its body. If it were up to Rini she would have taken two of the same thing, but alas she had to make do with one.
When we were done, we made our way to the food court in the plaza next door for some late lunch.
On our way home we found this pretty little manhole cover. These are all over Japan, with designs specific to its town or city. I always want to take a picture of them whenever we're at a new place, but most times forget to do so. I think it'd be a cool way to keep track of one's travels within Japan, but alas it'll have to be someone else, as I doubt we'll have a chance to return to any of the places we've seen until now.

Riding the shinkansen home, Rini sporting a crazy hairdo after her hair-ties got removed.

Overall, it was a great day and I'm glad we went. I hope we'll be able to take many more day- and weekend-trips during our last year in Japan.

Sweet 16... months...

Looking cute with pigtails!

I think this is starting to become a monthly post of which I am glad, though knowing me, I will not hold my breath, just in case.

Height: 78 cm

Weight: 9.5 kg

Clothing size: 80cm

Shoes size: 11.5cm (or 3 in the US)

Diaper size: medium

Teeth: I don't know where they came from but this past Wednesday (the 10th) I looked into Rini's mouth and she had 2 new teeth, another's point just poking out, and one more right under the gums! More specifically, Rini's 7th and 8th teeth are her Top Right and Top Left #4s, which are halfway out. Her 9th tooth is her Bottom Right #2, which by yesterday had a nice thin line showing, and her 10th tooth is suspected to be the Bottom Left #3 or #4, but can't really tell yet, since she only has #1 on that side. I think one of the reasons we didn't see them coming was because on top she already has 4 teeth, concealing things in the back. Also, while she did have a slight (mommy-instinct-only) fever a few weeks back, she also had a bit of a cold soon after, so we just chalked it up to that.
Anyways, the point is, this girl doesn't do anything in bits and pieces it seems. She grew her first 6 teeth within a month and a half, then nothing for 5 months or so, and now here are another 3, with the 4th expected to be out by the end of summer for sure. I must keep a better watch, lest she sneaks another 2 or 3 by me, while I'm not looking.

Eyes: I think I will remove this section from now on, and comment only, if we notice something change.

Food: It was the cutest thing when a few days ago (maybe Thursday), while my husband was slicing some lemons for dinner, Rini became curious and asked to taste the half lemon on the table. Seeing as she's well past her first birthday, the age before which people advise to steer clear of citrus fruits, I saw no harm of her tasting it a bit. What came next was a bit of a surprise as instead of taking a lick and making a frowning face because of the intense sourness of it, she went ahead and happily sucked and licked away, sometimes making an "AAAH" sound, like the one we tend to make after drinking a refreshing cold beverage on a hot day. In the end we gave her a thin slice of lemon, no rind, and she ate it all up, with a few more slices after that. I'm really glad that she's more adventurous than not when it comes to food, and I hope she will keep this as a trait in the future.

Nursing: A few months back, I read somewhere that one way to gently discourage night-time feeding, especially when the family shares a bed, is to let the father sleep between the mother and child. This way, supposedly the child doesn't smell the scent of the mother as easily, and will not wake just for the sake of nursing and comfort. We tried this method before going back to NYC and saw positive results.
Now that we're definitely back in our usual sleep routine, we decided to give it a try once more. We moved our futons around a bit and changed positions, where now I sleep next to the wall, my husband next to me, and Rini on her little futon next to him. We also decided to once again stick to our predetermined nursing times of bedtime/after midnight/after 2AM/after 4AM, with the understanding that if Rini wakes up around 1:30AM or so for the first time to nurse, she can, and the next time will be after 4AM. When it is time to nurse, Daddy would hand her over to my side, and Rini would sleep between me and the wall for the rest of the night, unless we were awake enough to put her back to her futon after she was done nursing. If Rini woke up any other time, Daddy would take charge and offer her water and soothe her back to sleep.
This past month she's been nursing 2 to 3 times a night (bedtime, 1-2AM, maybe 4-5AM), with bits of water in-between. Although we have the A/C running on low at night, I don't fault her for being thirsty, as I am thirsty as well. I also realize now, that the past month's frequent feeding might have had something to do with her teething, so I guess we're doing much better overall that I thought.

Sleeping: Now Rini sleeps 12-13 hours at night, waking up roughly 3 times, out of which, at least one is for water only. More often than not, she wakes up as I wrote above, gradually going from 3 feedings down to 2, including the one at bedtime. This has helped me to get a much better night's rest, especially when I decide to just go to bed when she does. I'm hoping that by the time she's 18 months old, we could count on a single feeding through the night, and by 21 months, have only the bedtime feeding and her sleeping through the night officially. Finally, we'll stop bedtime nursing once she turns two, I think.
As for naps, she still naps for a relatively short time, I think on average from 30 minutes to an hour once a day. Would this be a new occurrence, I might be worried, but even as a teeny-tiny baby she didn't nap longer than 15 to maybe 30 minutes, so I guess that's just the way she is.
Also, we finally set up her crib, and she seems to really like it. She likes to play in it for quite a while, and often asks us to put her in it. Not to mention, after she falls asleep on her Daddy, he's able to put her into the crib without a hitch, and she doesn't get frightened when she wakes up there. Maybe someday we'll try and see if she could sleep there at night, too, but we're in no rush.

Milestones: She's walking now like it's no one's business. She has picked up some speed too, so going for a walk is much more about the walk itself, than walking practice, if this makes sense. I wouldn't say she can run yet, more like just taking quick steps, but I'm sure we'll be there sooner rather than later.

She also holds her cups really well, and rarely spills her drinks. She's great at holding her spoon and fork, and bringing food to her mouth, though I probably should have mentioned this a couple months ago already. What surprised me mostly in this though, was the way she has been holding her spoon and fork. She never just grabbed it full handed like we expect most babies/toddlers to do, but instead holds them almost like an adult would, resting the handle between her thumb and pointing finger, and using the rest of her fingers to help as necessary.
Next, we're either becoming better at understanding what she wants or her communication skills are getting much better, or maybe it's a bit of both, but there seems to be a much better understanding between all of us. For example, she understands and follows simple commands in both Hungarian and English. So far I've noticed her doing this when we tell her to come here, to stand up or sit down, when I tell her to give something to Daddy, or give something to me, when we tell her it's time to bathe (we don't have to do anything except tell her, and she heads to the shower area on her own), or that she shouldn't put something in her mouth. She also goes and sits into her little feeding chair when it's time to eat, without any prompting from us most times.
She doesn't like to respond to the general "No," but she has a pretty good understanding of what's allowed and what's not. This is especially apparent, when we walk in on her doing something that's generally not allowed, and she get flustered a bit, and smilingly stops what she's doing or tries to give us the object, like that's all she ever planned on doing. She's quite sneaky. (^_^)
Speaking of bathing, she also lifts her legs and steps out of her pants now, and holds her hands up when we take her shirt off. And while brushing her teeth, which we started doing nightly a bit before her first tooth came in, is generally not one of her favorite things to do, there are days when she moves the toothbrush around in a way that gets most of the job done.
Finally, something I've noticed a week or so ago is that she stacks blocks! Not just 2 or 3, but I saw her stacking as high as 7! I can't wait to get her Legos soon! (Maybe for Christmas?)
Edit to add: I completely forgot to mention that she can stay on a swing by herself quite comfortably, and enjoys it whenever we go to the park.
Here's a video from June 22nd:

Words: Few days ago, Daddy heard Rini saying "mommy" quite clearly. Otherwise, she's just generally more active in trying to imitate whatever words we say, to the point where I could recognize some things (like kitty in Hungarian), as she repeats it, but she doesn't use these words on her own yet. I can't be sure, but I think I have heard her say "add ide," meaning "give me" in Hungarian, and at the correct situation too, but I'm hesitant to believe it, as I generally use the more polite (and complicated) form of "kérem szépen" when I ask for something from her. Regardless, she's definitely trying her best to communicate with whatever means she can.

Favorite toys: Lately, blocks have been quite a favorite, as well as her "cell phone" and this little blue singing bear that we got from our good friends.She also likes the detachable stars from her crib, and plays with them quite a while as long as we're willing to attach it back for her, so she can pull them off again.
We recently bought her a little drawing mat, which works buy putting a bit of water into the accompanying pens and the mat turns from white to pink where it gets wet, to go back to white as it dries. It's a no fuss way for her to draw and she seems to enjoy it well enough.
Finally, she has a couple shapes-into-holes toys she likes, even though she's not very good with it yet. She manages to put the circle and square into their appropriate holes, but not much else yet, so while she wants to play with them, she gets frustrated easily and asks us to do it for her.

Now what is this that I've found?

Likes: Orange juice is a big hit! She loves being on the swing, too, and can hold herself pretty well, as I gently push her. Rini also enjoys when I put things on her head for her to balance, which she in turn tries to put on mine. Other times, we act silly by passing a ruler to each other with our mouths, and other games like that.

Dislikes: Brushing her teeth, most times; changing her diaper, sometimes... It's hard to tell, as there are not many things. Even her recent fear of water has been getting better. Though she still refuses to sit in water, she at least plays with water in the basin. I'm hoping that by visiting some pools and beaches this summer we can befriend her to swimming.

Mommy/baby update: The biggest change I think this month has been how she doesn't cry as much when I leave the house, as she used to. So much so, that a few times she even happily waved bye to me and went back to playing. This is great, if for no other reason than I won't have to sneak out of the house in the morning in case she wakes up before I leave.

Knitting Update #3 - Rosie's Blanket

Finished blanket.

When I heard that good friends of ours were expecting their third baby, I knew I had to make something for the little one. Usually I go for baby hats or something along those lines, since it's quick and they'll outgrow it anyways in a few weeks. (Also, because I'm still not very confident in making garments for babies... I'll have to work on that.

Anyways, my point is, I have lot to thank these friends of ours, especially the mom, as without her, I honestly believe we would not have fared half as well during our pregnancy and first year with our daughter. So I've decided that, why not, I'll make another baby blanket. This was back in January, and the baby wasn't due until June, so I knew I had time. Even though I promised never to make another baby blanket for anyone else, other than my own children, I had so much fun making my daughters circular blanket and it was so fast, I was really looking forward to making this one.

I did my research diligently, first looking into what yarn I should choose, by reading through a lot of forum threads on Ravelry. I knew I wanted something that could be washed in the washing machine, yet I refuse to use acrylic. Since the baby was due in June, I was hoping to find a cotton blend, because summers in Fukuyama tend to be well above 30 degrees Celsius and really humid, except for the rainy season,when it's quite cool at night. Finally, just to prove that I wasn't a crazy person, I promised myself to look at worsted weight or thicker yarn only.
In the end, I settled on Sweater by Spud & Chloë. It is a worsted weight wool/cotton blend yarn that is machine washable. It is also organic, which is always a nice plus. Because it is 45% cotton, people mentioned that it doesn't hold the blocking really well, but in my opinion, that's OK with a blanket.

Next came the pattern. Around this time, we found out that the new baby will be a girl, which doubled my efforts in finding just the right project, as I could add lace, making the search much easier. Searching through all the circular blankets and shawls, there were a few I really liked. There were two reasons that made me decide on the Hemlock Ring Blanket by Jared Flood in the end. First, I also found out that the baby's name will be Rosie, so I thought the center would be a nice touch, and second, this was a blanket I considered making our child, only we never knew her gender while pregnant, so it got out-voted.

I ordered my yarn online: 4 skeins of pink (Tiny Dancer 7526) and 2 skeins of purple (Jelly Bean 7513). It arrived in the beginning of February, and I began to knit right away. Here are my notes from Ravelry:

1. February 21st: I used up the first skein of yarn in row 12 of the feather and fan section, so according to my calculations I estimate the skein “holding” at least 6130 stitches. If that’s true, my 2nd ball should run out around row 34, the 3rd around row 48, the fourth around row 60, and I’d still have one skein left for the blanket. So far so good.
   
2. February 26th: Math for the WIN! 2nd skein ran out as expected just after finishing row 33. I’m planning on knitting until row 80, then bind off.
   
3. March 3rd: Math for the WIN, once again! 3rd skein ran out after finishing row 48. Started purple and looking good.
4. (Here I should mention that I was ready to bind off in April. However, I had a feeling I didn't quite have enough yarn, and decided to wait until after we came back from NYC, at which point I become super busy with work. Needless to say, I wasn't able to start trying to actually bind off until mid-May, much later than I had hoped.)
5. June 16th:

   

   It's hard to see, but it did pucker...

   After trying to bind off, to run out of yarn, to frog, to bind off again, like 5 times, it is finally done. In the end I had to take off my last repeat of the feather and fan section to have enough yarn to use the bind off described in the pattern. That means, I used up probably 6-7 row’s worth of yarn. To be fair, while the blanket was knit with US#8 needles, I did the bind off with US#9. Still have a tiny amount of yarn left, enough for a tiny swatch to use as a test in the washing machine. Blocked relatively well, though the last 4 repeats of the pattern or so puckered, so should be knit with bigger needles. Unfortunately, I read those suggestions too late.

Overall, I really enjoyed making this blanket. The yarn was nice to work with and shed only a little as I worked with it. The pattern wasn't too difficult, though I had to tink back a few times in the beginning while I was getting used to the pattern. I would like to make this blanket again in the future, using its intended yarn (Cascade Yarns Ecological Wool), and following people's suggestions about increasing needle sizes on the way. Final blocked size turned out to be 125 cm across from one point to another. I do not think I measured gauge before blocking.

Something I Found and Wish to Remember

The blog post below was taken from a blog called UnTangled. It moved me deeply and I wish to hold on to it, because it summed up my thoughts on the subject so well. One day, I wish to show this letter to my daughter (and son, if we'll have one), in the hopes that it will be one of her main guiding lights in life.

So without further ado, I present to you:

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl

(About Her Future Husband)

April 17, 2013

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you. 

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting: 

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You. 

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you. 

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

15 months...

Daddy's feet are a bit bigger than mine...

It has been 15 months since our little girl was born, and boy, has she changed!

Height: still 76 cm

Weight: 9.4 kg

Clothing size: still 80cm

Shoes size: still 11.5cm (or 3 in the US)

Diaper size: medium

Teeth: still the same 6 from last time

Eyes: While they have not changed from their beautiful greenish brown, we have noticed that her eyes tend to be more green when she's upset or sick.

Food: She finally likes milk!!! I can't even begin to express how happy this makes me. Not just that, but she also drinks her milk from a regular cup.

Nursing: We have become much better at nursing only three times at night. Though there are some slip ups here and there (mostly when I'm too tired), but I think we're doing pretty well overall.

Sleeping: 9 times out of 10 Rini sleeps 4-5 hours straight from the time she goes to bed, and I have even noticed her waking up only almost at 2 A.M. a few times. Luckily the weather has been mild, so no A/C has been necessary yet.
She has also returned to her normal 7:30-8 P.M. bedtime, making me think it was just a form of jetlag for her not wanting to sleep until 9 P.M. Needless to say, because of all these alterations in her bed time routine, or more so, trying to get back into our previous bedtime routine, we didn't bother with the crib at all.

Milestones: WOW! What a month this has been! On Saturday, May 25th, she learned how to slide down on a slide. True, it's a tiny baby slide, but she got the technical parts down of one leg forward, then next, then hold the side, and slide. (^_^)v

This is not a slide I'd let her do alone, yet... but it was cool!

On Monday, May 28th, Rini was comfortably walking around with holding only one of our hands, as well as talking 1-2 steps on her own. She went from not daring to take a step unless we held both her hands to this in just 2-3 days. By May 31st, she managed to take 4-5 steps at a time without falling. By June 2nd, she was walking on her own pretty well, though she still had the little waddle in her step, with her little hands to the side for balance. On June 4th, she comfortably walked up and down on the stairs in our building by holding onto the side rails only. By the time she turned 15 months old, she needed no assistance in walking or managing the stairs, and would only lose her balance, if the road was really uneven and her foot got caught on something.
It is great seeing the progress she is making in a matter of only a couple weeks really. It has also made our lives much easier that we can rely on her to follow us without assistance. I know that my back for one is definitely happy.

Kitty!!!... Didn't I see you not long ago?

Words: Nothing new really.

Favorite toys: Once again, nothing new.

Likes: Her likes haven't changed much, except with regards to milk.

Dislikes: Her dislikes haven't changed much either.

Mommy/baby update: I've been trying my best to spend more time with Rini, and it has helped us connect better. My aim is to spend one day during the weekend being just the two of us, bonding. Hopefully, we can keep it up for years to come.

And that is all. (^_^)v

More Musings of the Future

I actually went off on a tangent yesterday, which is fine and good, but I didn't get my main question answered, and that is "What's next... as a job?"

Being conversational in Japanese would have been a great and valuable skill in Hungary, but I don't think that will be true in NYC. At this point, I can honestly say that I'm not going to be proficient enough in Japanese by the time we would leave to give me any real benefits in the job front in NYC. As long as I solidly pass N3 on the JLPT, I'll be very happy. This is not me being humble, but it's reality. I once again fell off the wagon a couple months back, being busy with preparing for our NYC trip and other work related tasks, and at this point, I probably won't get back to serious studying until I take the test in July. 

So the question remains, if we are to move back to NYC within 6 months of leaving Japan, what will I do with my life there? Here are the few options I have thought of so far:

• I would stay home with our children, if we can afford it.
  By the end of 2014, Rini will be almost 3 years old and hopefully we'll have a new little addition to our family, too. With a baby and a toddler, it would be best for one of us to stay home, and I'd like that to be me. Not for a long time, but maybe until baby #2 turns 3 years old. The potential problems I see with this are A, can we afford it, and B, will I be suited to stay at home. The first question will be easily answered once we know where my husband will work, and where we will live. It's just a simple question of budgeting.
  The second question worries me a bit more, because I don't have a great track record of self-motivation. While I'd like to think I have changed a fair amount during my time in Japan, becoming more mature and responsible, I don't know if I can say with 100% certainty that I will stay on top of things, once the demands of my job that currently pays the bills doesn't loom over my head. I'd like to believe I could hold down and run a household, and make sure our children are well cared for. I'm hoping that, if for nothing else, resting up in Hungary will serve as a way to transition into the stay-at-home mom mentality, and I will be asking my relatives to help me in this. I still have a lot to learn about running a household efficiently, and planning meals so that we don't waste money or food is a pretty daunting task to me. 
• I would try to get accepted into the Teaching Fellows program.
  From their website: "The NYC Teaching Fellows program recruits and prepares high-quality, dedicated individuals to become teachers who raise student achievement in the New York City classrooms that need them most." This basically means that people who did not receive their BA/BS in Education can still get into teaching, as long as they're willing to work in high-poverty communities and/or with special needs students. While teaching, Fellows also complete their master's degree. While I think I'd rather teach elementary school, currently there are waaaaay too many elementary school teachers and not enough positions available, so if I want to continue teaching, this would be my only way in.
  This program is great, because I could receive a degree while I work, so I wouldn't "waste" time doing the school-first, job-after approach. They are even looking for ESL teachers.
  The downside is that choosing this option would need a full-time commitment, which means I'd automatically opt out of staying home with the children. Just their summer pre-service training is a 6-week long, Monday through Friday, 10-hour-a-day training program.
  Of course, with such commitment, I better be damn sure I want to be a teacher. While I don't think I'm a bad teacher, maybe even a somewhat good one, I'm not sure I'm ready to make that type of commitment right away, mainly because of how young our children will still be. What worries me is that, if I don't take this opportunity as soon as I'm back in NYC, whatever credit or edge my JET experience would give me during the application process will become obsolete within the few years I'd spend in staying home.
• I would try to find a part-time job in whatever field I can.
  My actual dream job, and please don't laugh, is to own my very own yarn store. Knitting, crocheting, and the love of yarn has been the one consistent thing in my life besides my husband and child, since I've turned twenty. I really think I would enjoy the balance of business and creativity as well as the flexibility of owning a business would afford me. It would be a lot of work, but not something I could not handle. If I could find a part-time job in a yarn store in NYC, I think I would be one of the happiest creatures alive.
  Also, a part-time job would be great in many ways. First, it would bring in a little something on the side, that could be saved up or used as needed. Second, it would take me out of the house, but not for so long, that finding childcare would be too difficult and too expensive. Also, if I did find a part time job in a yarn store, it would give me a great opportunity to learn all there was to know about owning and running a yarn store.

So these are my options, or at least the ones I've thought of so far. All of them are very different from each other, and while it might not be impossible to do one after the other, it's probably not the smartest idea. There are so many things up in the air, so many things that are unknown to us, that it's hard to focus on any of these as a final choice.
I do think that applying to the Teaching Fellows program right after Japan is probably not a good idea, because I don't think I could commit to it fully, while our children are so young. Not to mention, while it might be pretty to have a master's degree on our wall, it's useless, unless I'm ready to dedicate at least 5-10 years to teaching. If I could be sure that waiting a few years would not result in loosing my edge, and in turn not getting accepted into the program, I think I'd be glad to become a Teaching Fellow and teach. My yarn store dream can wait, as I always thought of it as something I'd do at least 10-15 years down the line.

So, what shall I do? I guess only time will tell.

Places, Places....

As we're heading into our last year on JET, I've began thinking about the question that I think every JET thinks about at some point during their last year, and that is: "What's next?"

Originally, within the first few months of my husband moving here, I was hoping and planning for us to move to Hungary after our five years in Japan. I figured, I'd be more valuable in Hungary if I can speak both English and Japanese, and could support us for a few years (meaning at least about 5), while our future children learn the language and culture of Hungary.

Then we got pregnant, and the months just flew by. Our daughter was born, and when she was a little over 4 months old, we visited my family in Hungary. We spent 3 weeks there, so that we could get a feel for the environment we were thinking of moving to, as well as check out the job situation. During the trip, there were a few things that we realized as James and I constantly talked about our future plans.

First, that James didn't think he could handle living in another country, where he didn't speak the language. Second, my family was super supportive and loving and that it would be beneficial for our children to keep close contact with them. Third, and this happened as we were at the airport leaving, that we both really REALLY missed having family around. This in turn, raised the question whether we should just leave after our third year on JET, but after much consideration about my ability to learn Japanese and having time to save up some money, we decided that the best course of action would be to stay for the fourth year and then leave. James also suggested that no matter where we moved, it should be within two hours driving distance of some family. Finally, he told me that he understood what I meant when I said that living in Hungary would be safe for our children, and that it would be a good idea to stay there for some time.

So having settled this, we came back to Fukuyama. Another few months went by, and our discussion continued. Our new observations included James realizing that he didn't want to stay at home with two kids, but that after JET, I do want to stay home with our kids. Moreover, we thought it would be better to have baby #2 after we leave JET, so that we didn't have to deal with packing and kids at the same time. This left us with the need to change our initial plans. If I wanted to stay home and James didn't, that would mean that it would be up to James to support us while we were in Hungary. Not impossible, but maybe a bit harder than it would have been for me to get a job, as he doesn't speak much Hungarian.

However, I've also realized through further discussions that as much as he says he can deal with it, my husband would not be happy in Hungary for many reasons. So while officially our plans didn't change much, I've started thinking about Hungary as a rest spot between Fukuyama and New York. A place where we would spend no more than 6 months, which would be enough for me to spend some serious time with my family and get to know them as people, for Rini to pick up a solid foundation of Hungarian, and if we're pregnant, to have baby #2 without worrying much about insurance and cost. If while we were there James decided to look for a job, and find that job enjoyable enough that we could spend more time in Hungary, great, but if not, at least thinking this way will hopefully prevent me feeling too upset later on.

I'm glad to say looking at the future this way has helped me over time to accept the concept of returning to New York much sooner that I originally expected to. It also shifted my focus, and I began looking at what is possible and what is not possible when it comes to living in NYC. I still didn't want to live in the City (that includes all boroughs), so I began looking at towns that were no more than an hour by train from Grand Central station, but had the feel of Fukuyama and my home in Hungary. Our New York trip was coming up, too, and I was determined to see if such a place, which I had in my mind for so long, even existed. 

I did some research and decided to visit at least two places, one being White Plains, and the other, a much smaller town called Katonah, and its surrounding area. Once we were in New York, we drove out first to White Plains. Driving through the area, I felt like this was it. It had a really quiet-looking residential area with nice one-family homes, and a busy downtown, not too far away with all of our favorite stores present. The train station wasn't too far either, and I got the feeling, that if I wanted to, I could ride my bicycle to places instead of driving. 

We then continued to Katonah, which turned out to be too small, and nothing what I thought it would be from the research I did on the place. Still it was a nice road trip, and I'm glad we went there.

Once we were back in Fukuyama, I continued my research. People have been telling me this already, but it was nice to confirm, that buying a house in White Plains was a bit expensive. While I'm making sure we save a fair amount of money while we're here, I've realized that amount still won't be enough for a down payment. This means we are looking at a minimum of 3-5 years of renting and making sure our credit is exceptional, before we can buy a house, and that is fine by me. However, I also began looking for White Plains-like places to see if there are any other small cities that are a bit cheaper. This lead me to New Rochelle, just north of New York City. Houses there seem slightly cheaper, but the area still promises to be nice. For $400,000 there are some really nice 2+ bedroom/2+ bathroom homes, with a pretty big garden to boot.

This got me excited enough, that I decided to bring up in conversation last night what each of us wanted in our future home. My husband and I got talking, and this is what we came up with. 

On James's side, he'd prefer:

• a nice big kitchen, 
• at least 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, one of which is attached to the master bedroom, 
• two floors,
• and a basement, which can be used as a man cave or game room.

On my list, I have: 

• a big bathroom attached to the master bedroom, 
• 2+ bedrooms, 2+ bathrooms,
• a big garden with trees,  which is isolated from the sidewalk,
• and having a fence around our entire property.

We realized we do not care much about the size of our living room or dining room, and care more about the quantity of bedrooms, rather than the size. Size only matters when it comes to the kitchen, master bathroom, and garden. 

I'm glad that we have some sort of idea now of how we can compromise so that both of us can be happy. I need a house in a quiet and safe neighborhood, James needs to be close to his friends, family, and the city. Hopefully, we will be able to find the right home when the time is right. Until then, I'll just plan and dream, and keep doing plenty of research.