Places, Places....

As we're heading into our last year on JET, I've began thinking about the question that I think every JET thinks about at some point during their last year, and that is: "What's next?"

Originally, within the first few months of my husband moving here, I was hoping and planning for us to move to Hungary after our five years in Japan. I figured, I'd be more valuable in Hungary if I can speak both English and Japanese, and could support us for a few years (meaning at least about 5), while our future children learn the language and culture of Hungary.

Then we got pregnant, and the months just flew by. Our daughter was born, and when she was a little over 4 months old, we visited my family in Hungary. We spent 3 weeks there, so that we could get a feel for the environment we were thinking of moving to, as well as check out the job situation. During the trip, there were a few things that we realized as James and I constantly talked about our future plans.

First, that James didn't think he could handle living in another country, where he didn't speak the language. Second, my family was super supportive and loving and that it would be beneficial for our children to keep close contact with them. Third, and this happened as we were at the airport leaving, that we both really REALLY missed having family around. This in turn, raised the question whether we should just leave after our third year on JET, but after much consideration about my ability to learn Japanese and having time to save up some money, we decided that the best course of action would be to stay for the fourth year and then leave. James also suggested that no matter where we moved, it should be within two hours driving distance of some family. Finally, he told me that he understood what I meant when I said that living in Hungary would be safe for our children, and that it would be a good idea to stay there for some time.

So having settled this, we came back to Fukuyama. Another few months went by, and our discussion continued. Our new observations included James realizing that he didn't want to stay at home with two kids, but that after JET, I do want to stay home with our kids. Moreover, we thought it would be better to have baby #2 after we leave JET, so that we didn't have to deal with packing and kids at the same time. This left us with the need to change our initial plans. If I wanted to stay home and James didn't, that would mean that it would be up to James to support us while we were in Hungary. Not impossible, but maybe a bit harder than it would have been for me to get a job, as he doesn't speak much Hungarian.

However, I've also realized through further discussions that as much as he says he can deal with it, my husband would not be happy in Hungary for many reasons. So while officially our plans didn't change much, I've started thinking about Hungary as a rest spot between Fukuyama and New York. A place where we would spend no more than 6 months, which would be enough for me to spend some serious time with my family and get to know them as people, for Rini to pick up a solid foundation of Hungarian, and if we're pregnant, to have baby #2 without worrying much about insurance and cost. If while we were there James decided to look for a job, and find that job enjoyable enough that we could spend more time in Hungary, great, but if not, at least thinking this way will hopefully prevent me feeling too upset later on.

I'm glad to say looking at the future this way has helped me over time to accept the concept of returning to New York much sooner that I originally expected to. It also shifted my focus, and I began looking at what is possible and what is not possible when it comes to living in NYC. I still didn't want to live in the City (that includes all boroughs), so I began looking at towns that were no more than an hour by train from Grand Central station, but had the feel of Fukuyama and my home in Hungary. Our New York trip was coming up, too, and I was determined to see if such a place, which I had in my mind for so long, even existed. 

I did some research and decided to visit at least two places, one being White Plains, and the other, a much smaller town called Katonah, and its surrounding area. Once we were in New York, we drove out first to White Plains. Driving through the area, I felt like this was it. It had a really quiet-looking residential area with nice one-family homes, and a busy downtown, not too far away with all of our favorite stores present. The train station wasn't too far either, and I got the feeling, that if I wanted to, I could ride my bicycle to places instead of driving. 

We then continued to Katonah, which turned out to be too small, and nothing what I thought it would be from the research I did on the place. Still it was a nice road trip, and I'm glad we went there.

Once we were back in Fukuyama, I continued my research. People have been telling me this already, but it was nice to confirm, that buying a house in White Plains was a bit expensive. While I'm making sure we save a fair amount of money while we're here, I've realized that amount still won't be enough for a down payment. This means we are looking at a minimum of 3-5 years of renting and making sure our credit is exceptional, before we can buy a house, and that is fine by me. However, I also began looking for White Plains-like places to see if there are any other small cities that are a bit cheaper. This lead me to New Rochelle, just north of New York City. Houses there seem slightly cheaper, but the area still promises to be nice. For $400,000 there are some really nice 2+ bedroom/2+ bathroom homes, with a pretty big garden to boot.

This got me excited enough, that I decided to bring up in conversation last night what each of us wanted in our future home. My husband and I got talking, and this is what we came up with. 

On James's side, he'd prefer:

• a nice big kitchen, 
• at least 3 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms, one of which is attached to the master bedroom, 
• two floors,
• and a basement, which can be used as a man cave or game room.

On my list, I have: 

• a big bathroom attached to the master bedroom, 
• 2+ bedrooms, 2+ bathrooms,
• a big garden with trees,  which is isolated from the sidewalk,
• and having a fence around our entire property.

We realized we do not care much about the size of our living room or dining room, and care more about the quantity of bedrooms, rather than the size. Size only matters when it comes to the kitchen, master bathroom, and garden. 

I'm glad that we have some sort of idea now of how we can compromise so that both of us can be happy. I need a house in a quiet and safe neighborhood, James needs to be close to his friends, family, and the city. Hopefully, we will be able to find the right home when the time is right. Until then, I'll just plan and dream, and keep doing plenty of research.