... when all you want to do every day is crawl into your bed as soon as you get home and watch some TV series on your laptop until you fall asleep? Problem is you have work to finish, notes to make, worksheets to plan, and it'd be nice to study as well (you know you wanted to and should). But you just can't find the motivation or care enough...
Well, that's how I've been feeling since I got back from my vacation in Hungary almost two weeks ago. What I don't get is where all this tiredness and the urge to tune out from the world comes from. I've been living in Japan for over two months now, and I've got to tell you:
I... LOVE... MY... LIFE... HERE!!!
My work is fun, even if it's challenging and tiring sometimes. My co-workers (both in the schools and the office) are pretty cool and nice. My apartment is awesome. I like Japan with all its quirks and surprises. I like my city, and even the weather has been very cooperative.
Then why oh why, I ask, do I feel this way?
In all honesty I'm pretty sure I'm lonely. While the newness of my situation kept me on schedule and motivated in August, now, despite everything I've listed above, as soon as I come home I deflate like a balloon that wasn't tied properly in the morning to begin with. Funny thing is, I actually thought going to Hungary to see my family and to meet up with my husband (who flew in from America) would be a nice little boost, kind of like recharging my batteries. However, as soon as I got back on that plane to fly back to Japan, it became painfully obvious that this wasn't the case... if anything it felt more like the band-aid was just ripped off the wound that was held together by it until then somewhat successfully. Being happy to be back in Japan only helped temporarily.
I miss being close to someone, who I can just hug when I had a crappy day, or when it's that time of the month, or whatever... I hate the feeling that I have no one to talk to when something bothers me, because I feel like I'd only be bothering them and they probably don't care anyways, or just the time difference sucks. I hate how my apartment, though lovely in every way, can feel so empty and depressing. I was even considering getting a pet to have some other life here next to me, just to find out that it wasn't allowed.
There's no way going abut it... I miss my family, my friends, and most importantly, I miss my husband.
As a closing thought, I've heard this somewhere before, so I looked it up online:
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
—Virginia Satir, family therapist
—Virginia Satir, family therapist
How many have you gotten/given lately?
